Aug 282013

In the song “Wanted: Dead or Alive” by the popular music combo Bon Jovi they proclaim the highs and lows of being a touring musician.


Being a comedian, you get to travel the length and breadth of the country on a weekly basis. But how similar is this to the aforementioned lifestyle of Jonathan B Jovi.


“Another place where the faces are so cold
I’d drive all night just to get back home”


Essentially he is talking about having a crap gig (Or maybe just being in Peterlee), and a lot of us do drive home through the night for various reasons (Still have a day job, need to see the family, too tight to pay for a hotel)


One for One


“Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it’s not for days”


Again very similar, apart from his being wild party’s where he is a guest and willing participant, and our’s being Stag and Hens stopping in the same hotel unwillingly including you after two o clock in the morning even if you don’t want to.


And have you ever tried to sleep on a Megabus? I have and you always wake up smelling of someone else’s urine.


“Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink”


Change Bottle for McDonalds/Subway Meal Deal of the day and you have that match, Not so different eh Jonny boy.


“And times when you’re alone all you do is think”


Now this is one where the comedians win and extra point, if you go into any Green Room at a Comedy Club there is normally some ignorant git playing on a phone or tablet (normally me if I am honest,).


See Jon, playing Angry Birds makes you not have to think! (Those green pigs are not going to kill themselves) Score for the comedians on that one.


“Now I walk these streets, this six string in my hand”


Personally I would like to see JBJ try this around some of the places we have to play comedy gigs at. It would not be in his hand for long. In fact if you walked the streets with a microphone in yours, even in nice areas you would get either

A)    giving a good kicking

B)    Locked up

C)    Straight through to Bootcamp on X Factor


That settles out the thinking one, so back to even scores.
“I’ve seen a million faces (And I’ve rocked them all)”


Ok you get to meet lots of different people and see lots of different towns and city’s,

I don’t think I have ever rocked them. Apart from that gig I did on a canal barge and it was unintentional.


So plus point to the Jovester for that one. And then minus a point for bragging.


So not a difference, equal pegging so far until it comes to the main lyric.


“I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride”


So, he thinks he is a cowboy and drives a Motorbike that he likes to think is a steel horse.


I personally like to think that I drive a mobile disco and karaoke bar on wheels, and anyone who drives past me at two in the morning will probably confirm that fact.


However I do no think I am a cowboy.


That is a small and childish idea that you have to base yourself on a childhood hero who you clearly could not live up to the standards and lifestyle of.




Not a chance.


I’m Batman.

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